About this blog...

The Other Side of the Fence follows a former working mama as she explores "the other side of the fence" first-hand as a temporary stay-at-home mom.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Work perks

At the risk of making it sound like stay at home'ing is the only way to go, I thought I would list what I see as the perks of being a working mom.

  • The paycheck: This one's pretty obvious, but of utmost importance. Working brings in a paycheck, and more importantly, financial security. You can't really put a price on that. With two working parents, there is a safety net if one gets laid off - as we found out firsthand 5 months ago. Working helps you sleep better at night, knowing that money is coming in to pay for the needs - and wants - of life.

  • Health insurance: My jobs have all come with pretty damn good health insurance, and I'm afraid I took this rather for granted until we switched to J's insurance. While we are so fortunate to have that option, its just not as good as mine was, and it makes it a lot more stressful when it comes to the inevitable medical situations that arise with two kids. Of course, I will always put my kids' health above money and err on the side of caution, but it still stings when those bills come in.

  • Retirement: Personally, I don't want to be working for the rest of my life, so the more I can save for retirement, the sooner I can stop working for good. And of course, the earlier you sock money away, the more time it has to grow.

  • Another identity: Work gave me an identity separate from motherhood, one that had nothing to do with wiping butts or breaking up fights (oh wait, maybe working and motherhood have more in common than I thought...). Its nice to lose yourself in an exciting project and get to use your skills...of course, that is on a good work day. The workplace also gives you another cast of characters to share your life with. Every workplace dynamic is different, but I've always managed to make a few great new friends at each job I've had.

  • "Me" time: I know, kind of sad to think of work as "me" time, but it really is when you think about it. I remember quite a few Monday mornings when I gratefully sank into my desk chair with a cup of coffee, knowing my kids were well taken care of, and it wasn't by me! The ability to use the bathroom by yourself, go out to lunch, even run an errand unfettered is pretty sweet.

  • Setting a good example: I want my girls to be happy with whatever path they choose in life and I loved showing them that as a woman, you really can have it all, just maybe not all at the same time. Case in point, Big A used to say she wanted to be a writer like Mommy when she grew up...now she says she wants to be a Mommy...and a cheerleader. Okay, so maybe I don't have as much influence as I like to think, since I've never picked up a pom-pom. But I do want my girls to know that the world is theirs for the taking and there are no limits to what they can do.

My biggest fear as a working mom was that I was missing out on special moments with my kids. And the truth is, I was, because every moment I spend with my kids is pretty special (well, maybe not every moment). But that doesn't mean that its horrible to work. At the end of the day, every choice in life will have its pros and cons, and one is not better than the other. Working is just necessary for most people, for financial or other reasons, and that's nothing to feel bad about. When I do go back to work (which I will, eventually), I will definitely be looking at this list when I'm feeling down about it. I don't believe in dwelling on the negative, so I will choose to see the positive aspects of working. After all, I assume most men do not feel guilty when they leave their children to go off to work for the day. And women shouldn't either.

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