About this blog...

The Other Side of the Fence follows a former working mama as she explores "the other side of the fence" first-hand as a temporary stay-at-home mom.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

I don't want to stay at home, mom

For me personally, stay at home mom is a misnomer. Pretty much my philosophy of being a stay at home parent it to stay busy, and for me, that mostly means out of the house.

I suppose this may be a side effect of working and being used to being out and about each day. Actually staying in the house all day makes me feel like its a sick day. Aside from the few snow storms this winter that trapped us, and a few legitimate sick days, I make sure to leave the house each day without fail.

Surprisingly, this has not been hard to do. Three days a week we have preschool for Big A, and Little A and I will visit the gym and/or run errands. Then there are dance classes, all those free kids activities, and my personal favorite - the playdate.

Ahh, the playdate. As a non-parental adult, getting together with friends usually means going to a movie or out to eat or to a bar. But the playdate makes it much simpler to catch up with friends in a more informal setting, to really talk, maybe have some coffee and just hang out. Of course, there is the added bonus (um...I mean the actual purpose) of getting the kids some socialization and playtime with their buddies. As fun a mom as I think I am, I just don't get much enjoyment out of running around in circles a million times - but luckily, other kids DO. Win win.

And getting to compare notes with other moms is priceless. Sometimes parenthood can feel a bit isolating, so to realize that every mother struggles with the same things (or at least similar things) is reassuring. Its also a great way to pick up tips for how to do things. Or how not to do things. Oh, and to gossip, can't forget that.

I really should thank my kids for opening up a whole new social world for me. Prior to motherhood, I struggled to make new, local friends after moving back to my hometown. I found a few luckily, but it was only after becoming a mother that people seemed to come out of the woodwork. I guess motherhood is just the common bond that is needed to break down the barriers of friendship. A few weeks ago, I was on the elliptical at the gym and the woman next to me started up a conversation. Within minutes, we discovered we had children of similar ages and we literally talked non-stop for the rest of our workout. That *never* happened pre-kids. There are also just more opportunities to meet people. I come into contact with such a wide variety of people each day, usually during kid-related activites, and there is always something to make small talk about.

This has honestly been one of the best parts of staying at home for me. I have more time to connect with people on a personal level and more time to develop those friendships. As much as I enjoyed hanging with "Bob" and "Sue" from the office, they were not always the people I would choose to spend my days with if given the option.

The other day, we were on our way home from the children's museum where we had met some friends. Big A asked me from the backseat, "Mommy, why do you like to talk to your friends so much?" I told her I liked to talk to them because it was fun. She considered this for a minute and then said, "Mommy, kids have a lot more fun than grown-ups." I nodded in agreement, but inside I'm not so sure.

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