What kind of sick joke is this?

Yesterday I brought in the mail, and it felt extra-heavy. There were two glossy magazines in the pile, which usually makes my day. Then I saw what they were: Martha Stewart Living. I knew I hadn't ordered this magazine that is pretty much the antithesis of my lifestyle. But of course, I took a look. The first one was the Valentine's issue featuring a floral heart on the cover. The letter from the editor featured a calendar for the month with "to do's" on it. Things like "clean and store candles," "tie burlap string around cords," and "spring clean baseboards." I laughed.

Each article was worse than the next. How to make a proper "cleaning bucket," 16 ways to eat onions, the joys of a home greenhouse. With every word, I felt more and more inadequate. Some of the "things to do," I had never considered or even heard of. "Make glitter valentines, seal withe homemade pink wax and address." That was listed on a Saturday. A Saturday.

Today I went to get the mail and there was ANOTHER issue. Plus, an issue of Sports Illustrated addressed to my husband. When he got home, I asked him if he'd ordered it. Nope. So now we were both getting mysterious magazine subscriptions? Who could be behind this? He was happy about his mystery subscription, but I'm just pissed. I don't want Martha Stewart in my house unless she's prepared to don her recommended rubber cleaning gloves and clean my damn house herself.

So I'm throwing this out there. Whoever you are, come forward and confess. So I can give you back those trees you killed with your sick joke.

:-)

Yuck.