Who's your daddy?

Okay, I'll admit it. I was smug. When other moms complained about taking 2 kids to the grocery store and what a nightmare it was, I just laughed but inside thought "Eh, its really not that hard." When they talked about how they went at night or on the weekend to avoid having to schlep along the kids, I shrugged. Not me, I don't mind it at all.

Ha.

Because we were busy all weekend and our cupboards are bare, I took both girls to the grocery store today. First, they didn't want to go. I promised them a special treat. I didn't actually have a special treat, but they didn't have to know that. We got in the store and there was a display of watermelons. "Should we get one?" I asked. "Yes!" Then Big A said, "Mommy, is that our special treat?" Perfect. "Why yes it is, ta-da a watermelon!" She looked at me warily. "That's not a special treat mom. A treat is a surprise." Oh.

I rummaged through my purse and found a Hershey's bar that had been the favor at my brother's rehearsal dinner. I quickly had an inner argument with myself. Should I give it to them and risk the sugar effect? But if I don't, they might whine more...I decided to give them each a small piece. They were very happy. My smugness returned as we wheeled over to the deli with each girl sucking happily on a piece of chocolate. Things were going quite well as the deli man gave them each some cheese. We walked over to the produce when Big A asked if she could have more cheese. Nope, not till we get home. "It's not FAIR" she yelled. "No more whining, Big A," I said. "If you keep it up, you'll have to take a nap today."

Uh oh. Not the N word. "I don't WANT a nap," she screamed. I got my first look from another customer. Look, I'm just going to say it. I know you want to stare/throw a dirty look when you hear a mom talking to her child in a frustrated manner in a store. But, really? It's not helpful. It's annoying. You don't have a kid with you, so please enjoy your peace and leave me alone. Thanks.

"One more chance, Big A," I said. It was only one aisle over that she threw out another snotty comment. "Okay, you're taking a nap when we get home," I declared feeling proud of actually following through. "I.DON'T.WANT.A.NAP," she yelled.

Then she unleashed it. The high-pitched, angry cat-like scream. The one that she normally reserves for her bedroom. I got several more looks. I was torn between abandoning my cart and dragging her out of the store or trying to ignore her. I glanced at my half-full cart and the thought of having to pick out those items again enticed me to choose ignore. So we spent the next two aisles with her crying loudly about not wanting a nap. More looks. Look people, what would you have me do here? Smack her? Muzzle her? Stick her up in the chip aisle? I'm open to suggestions, but stares just don't help.

Ignoring her finally worked and she stopped crying. We were nearing the edge of our mission. I was choosing some cheese when Little A suddenly pointed at the man stocking cheese and said loudly "That Daddy" pointing to him. I ignored her, but again, "That Daddy!" "No sweetie, that's not daddy, ha ha." Cheese man did not even look up, lest I run up to him with a Maury-cam screaming "You ARE the baby's daddy. You owe back child support bastard!"

As I wheeled my cart to the checkout line (where we would have a nice long discussion with the checkers who would offer to switch places with Big A so that they could nap while she bagged groceries), I once again had to eat my words as a parent. You know what? You just don't know until you know. And now I know - taking 2 kids to the grocery store is a nightmare.