Paybacks

I'm sure every person that has ever been annoying as a kid/teenager has heard the line "I hope you have a child just like you one day!" Lord knows, I could be pretty moody as a kid so I heard this a few times.

One of the most obnoxious memories I have is when my sister and I were in our early teens. In typical melodramatic fashion, we were mad at my mom and had a conversation that went something like:

Me: I can't believe mom yelled at us.
K: I know...like, take a chill Mom.
Me: You know...I bet she doesn't even love us.
K: Yeah, she doesn't love us.

Somehow we decided to tell my dad our "theory" and he in turn told my mom which led to an embarrassing conversation where my mom sat us down and assured us that she loved us. I cringe just thinking about what a little brat I was that day.

So as Big A has grown into her personality, I've gotten little glimpses of what I might have been like as a kid and realized I really was getting every parent's wish -a child just like myself. However, I never expected to deal with the exact same situation as above so soon...

Last night I was giving the girls a bath. I got Big A out first, then wrapped up Little A in a towel and snuggled her. Big A looked over at me and said, "Mommy you don't love me."

After a moment of shocked silence, I told her that of course I loved her and wondered if the subject would be dropped. It wasn't. As I got the girls into their pjs, she repeated that I didn't love her. I kind of had a hunch where this thought was coming from. Little A has been clingy lately and demanding a lot of my attention. "Do you think I don't love you because I love Little A?" I asked. She nodded. "Well, I love both of you a whole bunch." She contemplated this for a minute. "Do you love Daddy too?" Yes. "Mom Mom?" Yes. "Gammy?" Yes. The list went on until I told her that I loved a lot of people and she could too. She seemed to get it then and dropped the subject.

Today I took Big A out on a date, just the two of us. We went shopping at Target and picked out a big-girl princess bike for her birthday. Then we saw "Hop" and shared popcorn and a juice box. We went to another store after that and were going to stop for a snack but Big A told me Panera smelled bad so we went home. I think the day was good for us though and hopefully reassured her that I love her lots. Kinda makes me wonder how people with tons of kids manage to spread the love.

Or maybe I'm just being hosed by my clone of a daughter...I guess time will tell.