Things that make me feel like a good mom

Of course I think I'm a pretty good mom, but sometimes you just need that little extra reinforcement to feel even better. Lately, I've had a few of these incidents that make me feel like I should wear a "#1 Mom" shirt loud and proud.

-Teen Mom. I love watching this show for a myriad of reasons, but one of the biggest is that it makes me feel like I rock at being a mom. Not only did I make it out of my teens prior to spawning, but I also don't do any drugs (check), don't have any baby daddy drama (check) and don't constantly scream in front of my kids (check). Plus, I know how to change a diaper. Where else could I find such low standards to surpass on a weekly basis?

-Today I took Little A (who is healing well, by the way, just a little limp) to a storytime at a bookstore. When we arrived a woman was getting out of a van with 6 kids about 3-4 years old. I immediately realized it was a home daycare - cool - fieldtrip, right? She proceeded to march the kids into the bookstore, plant them in front of the storytime area, then lounge in a nearby aisle with a Blow-Pop and a huge book with "More ADULT STORIES" on the cover in huge letters. Really? I was blown away. She barely looked up except to comment on my friends' pregnancy and ask how many kids she had. When my friend answered three, she sighed and said "Wow, I can't handle more than 1." Um...okay. Good career choice, then? She later reprimanded one of her charges and told him to sit down or she'd make him regret it. I have to admit, she did have the kids in check, but damn...I felt like a good mom for not having my kid at that daycare. lol

Yeah, I know, it really doesn't take much to make me feel good. Hey, I don't read porn around my kids or take them to the tanning bed, I'm awesome. But seriously, I do often think that compared to a lot of kids in this world, mine are pretty lucky. They have plenty of people who love them, they get told how much they're loved each and every day, and they've never had to wonder where their next meal is coming from. In the grand scheme of things, they (and we) are pretty blessed. So if I sometimes doubt that I'm doing all the right things, at least I know it could always be worse.

Here we go again...

I have been looking forward to this weekend for quite a while. J took the girls to the beach to help his mom with some yardwork and I got some much-needed "me time." I was really ready for a break and some time alone. As much as I looked forward to it, I still got a little choked up as J drove off with the girls. I missed them almost as soon as they were gone.

Still, I made the most of my time alone. I did some solo shopping (okay, more than some), watched Jersey Shore and ate junk food. Today I spent the day with some great friends working on our scrapbooks and drinking mimosas. I was just cozying up to enjoy some internet surfing, when J called to say that he was headed to the ER with Little A...my heart dropped.

Luckily, it was nothing life-threatening. J had gone down the slide with Little A and her foot twisted. She was having trouble putting weight on it and it was a little swollen so he went to get it checked out. They said nothing was broken and put some tape on it as a precautionary measure. We'll follow up with our pediatrician next week.

Um...that's a pj top that she's wearing...another reason mommies are needed. :-)

Sigh...I can't stand not being there when my babies aren't feeling well. Suddenly my "me time" seems a lot less important. However, I know she's in great hands and she'll be back in my arms tomorrow.

I just have to ask - does everyone with kids spend this much time at the ER, or is it just us?

p.s. And as a follow-up to my "nerves" posts, well, I didn't get the job. But hey, that just means more time with my girls. I'm really looking forward to spending some sunny spring/summer days with them. Just no slides for awhile.

Nerves Part Duex

I'll spare you all another picture of my feet/dirty car. Today was a big day that I am glad is over with. You know how when you have something coming up and no matter what you're doing, its always there in the back of your mind and you just can't fully relax? Yeah, that's what I've been dealing with for the last TWO WEEKS. Enough! Now its over and the decision is out of my hands. I really am okay with however this goes, but I just want it to be settled so I can move on one way or the other. Will keep ya'll posted...

Nutritionally speaking

There's a lot to judge about other mothers, and how you feed your child/ren is one of the biggest areas. It starts from the first second the baby emerges - breast or bottle? Everyone seems to want to know, from the doctor (normal) to the random coworker (awkward). It doesn't stop there though. The next phase is solids, and the choices range from homemade (best) to organic (okay) to Gerber jars (sub-par). Beyond just what to feed babies/kids is the question of when. There's been a move toward delaying solids from 3 weeks (our parents) to 4 months to 6 months or later. Soon, we'll be delaying food till 12. Then there comes the eyes on you at the playground as you pull out fruit snacks (the devil) or organic celery sticks shaped like hearts. The school lunchbox comes next - and no one would dare admit that they throw in a Lunchable - nope, its all customized Bento box lunches with flax seed and wheat germ smoothies.
As for me, if you know me or have been reading long, I'm sure you can guess where I stand on the spectrum. I do take pride in the fact that I nursed my girls for a year, but it pretty much goes downhill from there. The idea of making my own baby food was laughable to me, especially as a busy working mother. I can barely make myself food, so why would I want to subject my babies to my cooking before I had to? We went Gerber (or even Target brand) all the way. I loved my pediatrician's low-key take on baby food - he told me not to waste my money on jarred food past the first stage and just mash up whatever we were eating. Of course, I'm pretty sure he wasn't talking about pulverizing frozen pizza, so I did stick to baby food for a while longer.

In either case, its not that hard to feed your baby in a healthy manner considering the entire baby aisle filled with jars of fruit and veggies. All of the choices were pretty healthy so I didn't worry too much.

Its the toddler and beyond stage that I find the most challenging. Balancing picky eaters, my lack of cooking ability and a busy lifestyle often results in some not-so-good choices. Consider that my 18-month old can say "m&m's" as if it was the word "cat" and you'll have some clue as to how my kids eat. They love treats, and I use this to my advantage. A Hershey kiss is a pretty good bribe to get Big A to eat a few bites of a semi-healthy dinner. I try to push fruits and veggies and dairy and keep the bad stuff to a minimum but it doesn't always work out that way. I'm not one of those mothers who is afraid of McDonald's every now and then. I mean, if my kid is going to eat two bites of food, it doesn't matter too much if its two bites of chicken and a french fry or an organic burrito, right? And lucky for me, my girls' natural taste buds lead them to make pretty healthy choices all on their own.

Still, I sometimes do feel like I need to make a bigger effort to feed my whole family better. I wasn't the smallest of kids (oink), and I know firsthand how much it sucks to be the chunky kid. On the other hand, I don't want to deny things so much that they become even more tempting or the girls get a complex - there's plenty of time for that. Everything in moderation is what I strive for, although some days we don't quite get there.

It does make me feel better to know that kids' diets should be based on a week, not a meal or even a day. So if one day, they eat m&m's, ice-cream and macaroni and cheese (not that that happened today or anything...), the next day I'll strive for carrot sticks, grapes and string cheese.

Now pass the dip, would you?

I don't want to stay at home, mom

For me personally, stay at home mom is a misnomer. Pretty much my philosophy of being a stay at home parent it to stay busy, and for me, that mostly means out of the house.

I suppose this may be a side effect of working and being used to being out and about each day. Actually staying in the house all day makes me feel like its a sick day. Aside from the few snow storms this winter that trapped us, and a few legitimate sick days, I make sure to leave the house each day without fail.

Surprisingly, this has not been hard to do. Three days a week we have preschool for Big A, and Little A and I will visit the gym and/or run errands. Then there are dance classes, all those free kids activities, and my personal favorite - the playdate.

Ahh, the playdate. As a non-parental adult, getting together with friends usually means going to a movie or out to eat or to a bar. But the playdate makes it much simpler to catch up with friends in a more informal setting, to really talk, maybe have some coffee and just hang out. Of course, there is the added bonus (um...I mean the actual purpose) of getting the kids some socialization and playtime with their buddies. As fun a mom as I think I am, I just don't get much enjoyment out of running around in circles a million times - but luckily, other kids DO. Win win.

And getting to compare notes with other moms is priceless. Sometimes parenthood can feel a bit isolating, so to realize that every mother struggles with the same things (or at least similar things) is reassuring. Its also a great way to pick up tips for how to do things. Or how not to do things. Oh, and to gossip, can't forget that.

I really should thank my kids for opening up a whole new social world for me. Prior to motherhood, I struggled to make new, local friends after moving back to my hometown. I found a few luckily, but it was only after becoming a mother that people seemed to come out of the woodwork. I guess motherhood is just the common bond that is needed to break down the barriers of friendship. A few weeks ago, I was on the elliptical at the gym and the woman next to me started up a conversation. Within minutes, we discovered we had children of similar ages and we literally talked non-stop for the rest of our workout. That *never* happened pre-kids. There are also just more opportunities to meet people. I come into contact with such a wide variety of people each day, usually during kid-related activites, and there is always something to make small talk about.

This has honestly been one of the best parts of staying at home for me. I have more time to connect with people on a personal level and more time to develop those friendships. As much as I enjoyed hanging with "Bob" and "Sue" from the office, they were not always the people I would choose to spend my days with if given the option.

The other day, we were on our way home from the children's museum where we had met some friends. Big A asked me from the backseat, "Mommy, why do you like to talk to your friends so much?" I told her I liked to talk to them because it was fun. She considered this for a minute and then said, "Mommy, kids have a lot more fun than grown-ups." I nodded in agreement, but inside I'm not so sure.

The 600 pound mom

No, that's not me (yet).

The other night, J and I were sitting on the couch watching some television. He was scrolling through the channels to record something (likely a sporting event) and it came up as a conflict because two other shows were already recording. One was something semi-normal like Glee or The Bachelor. The other one? "The 600 Pound Mom" on TLC. He looked at me. I looked at him. I looked away. He kept looking.

"Why are you recording a show called the 600 Pound Mom?" he asked.

Silence.

"Was I?" I said.

"Yes, you were. But you're not anymore." He promptly deleted the recording.

I really didn't have much to say. Why WAS I taping a show called the 600 Pound Mom? Was I looking for inspiration? Diet tips? Wardrobe choices?

Really, I just find shows like this fascinating. How does this happen? Why? What's it like? I was just...curious. But kind of embarrassed to be found out.

I never did catch the show so I'm not sure what her story was. I've been too busy keeping up with the Kardashians, poring over the Teen Moms, salivating at Top Chef and laughing at the Jersey Shoreans. What can I say? I really like weird people.

p.s. I just did a google image search for "600 pound mom" to add to this post, but I've decided to spare everyone. O - M - G.

The yellow glider

I'm sure every mom has that one baby item that brings back all the memories of babyhood. For me, its a Fisher Price Soothing Motions yellow glider. I bought it at the recommendation of my sister who was on baby #3 when I had my baby #1. It plays music and sways back and forth and Big A loved it. She would sleep in it for hours at a time as an infant, and we'd place her in it when we ate dinner or needed our hands free (the rest of the time, she was pretty much in our arms).

When Little A came along, we brought out the glider and it made me happy just seeing it in my living room. She loved it just as much as Big A did and spent many hours napping in it as well.

When my sister-in-law had a baby 6 months ago, she borrowed the glider and my little nephew spent some happy hours in there as well. Basically, the yellow glider makes me think of all the good parts of having a tiny baby. The snuggly-ness, the cuteness, the innocence of baby sleep. Just look at my girls in it:

The other day, my mother-in-law dropped off the yellow glider - my nephew has outgrown it. It has been sitting in my living room for the past few days and every time I pass it, I can't help but picture one of my sweet little babies sleeping in it. When Big A was Little A's age, I got pregnant, so maybe its just a biological urge for a new baby. However, unless you're Michelle Duggar (who I love for some weird reason), at some point your last baby has to be your last. And the joy of a cute sleeping baby is not a good enough reason to bring another person into the world. Because when those cute sleeping babies aren't sleeping, they cry and they stay up all night and they cost money and....they're really cute.

Clearly, I need to move the yellow glider to the basement as soon as possible. Or better yet, lend it to another mom so that it can continue its job of rocking babies to sleep - just not my babies.