A night out

J and I enjoyed a rare night out together last night at the Phillies game. It was a blast and a nice change from the normal dinner/movie date.

We started off the night trying to take a self-photo...our height difference presented a slight challenge...

Since we were early, we stopped to have a drink and spotted a Tiger Woods lookalike. I made J snap a phone picture while pretending to send a text. lol

This guy was definitely playing up the resemblence...

Then we found our seats...they were nosebleeds. In fact, the man behind us got an actual nosebleed and kept saying, "Heh, talk about nosebleed section. LITERALLY. heh heh heh." I was afraid he was going to drip blood on me so I was grossed out. We left our seats pretty quickly to wander around and got some Chickie & Pete's crab fries...YUM. Totally worth the 20 minute wait and $7 price tag.

I guess the Phillies lost, but it was still a great night.

Reflections on three (and four)

Last night we had my nephew M over for a sleepover. He's 4 like Big A and the sweetest little boy. The kids had a blast together and several times over the course of the day I thought it was almost easier having 3 (with 2 the same age) because they played together so well. Then my niece L came over last night for a while and I took it all back! 4 kids threw both J and I for a loop and we were seriously in awe of my sister and BIL who have 4 of their own. How do they do it?

The house was LOUD. The kids fed off each other and dinner was a hilarious discussion that started with hot dogs and ended with poop (doesn't it always?). We went through a package of hot dogs and rolls, a can of baked beans, a bag of sweet potato fries, a jar of pickles, a bag of baby carrots and half a bottle of ranch dressing. And that was with 3 girls and a boy...my sister has 3 boys and a girl and I don't even want to know what that grocery bill is like or will be like as the boys grow into teenagers.

After dinner we had no choice but to take the energy outside for a walk to the bridge at the end of our street. We turned it into an adventure to see the Grumpy Old Troll (10 points if you get the reference) who lives under the bridge. J played the part of the GOT very well and made us all laugh. The next couple hours were filled with bangs, screams, shouts, laughs, cries and head bumps. J and I both collapsed on the couch when the night was finally over and looked at each other. We both said, "Never."

As it turns out, I think we are both too lazy to have more than 2 kids. Once you get above 2, "me time" pretty much goes away for about 18 years. The "tag team" is no longer as effective and its all hands on deck. And I can't even imagine the feeling each morning if I was left alone with 4 kids while my husband went off to work. Honestly? I'd be scared.

So I just want to say to all the moms of more than 2 kids out there - I salute you. And better you than me!

Breakfast picnic

Today the girls and I decided to let J sleep in and we headed out for a "breakfast picnic" to beat the heat. We stopped at Dunkin' Donuts and the girls picked out a donut and I got an iced coffee - yum. (As an aside, I can't get over how kids get so excited about a treat like a donut, but then when they actually get it, they lick the icing, take one measly bite and they're done...if only I could do that!) We headed to a new park and set up a blanket in the shade, "ate" our breakfast and played on the playground. I even got to read the Sunday paper I had hopefully brought along while the girls played "Mommy" for a while.

We did a little coloring on our blanket and then packed it up for home. It was definitely a great way to spend the morning without all the usual distractions of home, and get some outdoor time before the heat became too brutal. I can see us continuing this tradition for years to come.

It's a heat wave

Its a million degrees here and all I can say is thank goodness for air conditioning. However, there are many times when its necessary to go outside and at those moments, I am cursing the world. I despise being hot...it makes me cranky and miserable. Add 2 kids who got up at 6:15 this morning - already overtired and cranky before the day started - and its not a good recipe.

Big A had her last day of camp today so Little A and I ran some errands. We went to Trader Joe's where they have cute little kid-size shopping carts. What a great idea and it wasn't crowded so I let Little A push one - all great until she rammed it into the back of my foot. I had to hold back tears and the rest of the trip, I was practically jumping out of the way to avoid further damage.

We then went home to drop off the groceries and she asked for a bowl of (organic, air-popped) popcorn. Feeling like a great mother, I dished her out some...which promptly landed all over the floor. "Little A, why did you do that?" I asked. She looked at me and said "You're welcome." Seriously. "No no, its not a good thing," I said but she kept it up "You're welcome" she repeated...until I finally said okay thanks and cleaned it up.

Next came an oil change where we got to sit in a tiny room waiting for our car. She started singing and I could tell the volume was only going to get louder. I shushed her and the man at the desk asked me if I had any other kids. Yes, a 4 year old. "Ah, they're still young," he says to me. "Mine are 11 and 14 and you'll learn that that's nothing. They only get worse." Um...okay. Point being what? You want me to let my kid scream since it will get worse in a few years?

We headed out to pick up Big A at camp and the whining continued especially with this being our 4th or 5th trip in and out of the car and heat. When we got home, I practically threw Little A into her crib for a nap and told Big A she had to watch Barney AND Clifford in my room. I thought it was best if we all got a little space. Now that I've cooled off, I just realized I forgot to feed Little A lunch...again. Oops. Oh well, at least its quiet.

The shopping cart terror

Pretty is as pretty does

This morning started off like normal. With a tantrum as I got Big A dressed. As usual, she wanted to wear a "fancy dress" and I was trying to steer her to a more rational choice since she's doing a camp right now that requires sneakers and has playground time. She was putting up even more of a fight than usual and finally she burst into tears and screamed, "It's not fair. Little A has a fancy dress on and she's going to be prettier than me!"

Ah ha.

And so it begins. I reassured her that she was just as pretty as Little A, then got her into a cotton dress and placated her with a necklace, purse and sunglasses. Its all about the accessories after all.

It got me thinking about what it means to raise a girl today. With so much pressure for girls to be princesses and fancy nancies and pinkaliciously f

abulous, what's a mom to do to create a sense of normalcy for her little girl? I give in to a lot of it, because it truly makes Big A happy to dress up and look pretty. But I do want to make sure that she knows that she is worth more than her looks. She's pretty special in other ways too.

I also want Big A and Little A to be the best of friend

s. The sister relationship is so special and I want them to be there for each other the same way that my sister and I are. I thought I was in the clear with Little A being more "sporty" than Big A and thus minimizing the jealousy, but now I'm wondering if I created that stereotype in my own mind, since she did indeed request the fancy dress she was wearing today.

In the end, I know I need to step back and let their relationship take its natural course. In the meantime, I need to be sure I'm praising them for more than just their looks...but they are pretty darn cute...

Big A and Little A on Big A's first day of dino camp

A whole new world

Now that its been nearly 9 months of joblessness, I thought I'd reflect on the work thing again.

First, I can honestly say that I love stay at home mom'ing and I wish I could do it for a few more years. This surprises me in some ways, as I didn't think I'd adapt quite so well to being home full-time. What I've found is that I'm much less stressed, more rested, I'm having more fun and I really don't miss much about working in an office.

At the same time, I don't hate the idea of going back to work...I just wish I could put it off for a while.

Seems like fate is agreeing with me, as my job search has been basically futile. For a while there, I was getting call after call from recruiters looking to fill 3-6 month contract jobs. While not ideal, I was willing to try, but I never seemed to get past the submission process. It boggled my mind the way these recruiters screened me. They'd usually start by reading the job description, telling me the salary and asking me if I was available. Then they might throw in a question like "tell me about your experience." It was easy to tell they weren't really listening to my answer. One woman even asked me to "rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10." Huh? I gave myself a 9 and she then said that I would be a good candidate for the job. Ohhhkay. How do these people have jobs when I don't?

I also got rejected from a $9/hr front desk job but was offered an overnight shift "maintenance job" - now that's a laugh.

Last week I received a call from a job I had applied to. When I called back, I was greeted by barking. Yes, barking. Finally a human voice said hello and explained he was working from home. Every minute or two, he would talk or yell at his dogs without any notice so I wasn't quite sure who he was talking to. "I AM sitting" I wanted to shout. He decided I'd be a good ear for his complaint about posting a job in this economy. "I have a stack of resumes a mile high," he told me. I wanted to sympathize, but really?

Mostly what frustrates me is the complete lack of response you get from most job applications. Some even call to schedule an interview and then play "hide and seek" when you try to call back. My last prospect dealt solely online and hired a consulting company to conduct a phone screen. If you made it past the phone screen, you might get to talk to the actual company (still waiting).

In this crazy new electronic world, there is also a strong emphasis on "social media." I always thought of Facebook as something you hid from your employer, but now they all want to know what kind of social media expertise you have and if you're familiar with tweeting, feeding, and SEOing (no, nope, and huh?). At 34, I feel like maybe I'm too old to work in today's world. Do I now start bragging that I can waste hours on Facebook? Do I pimp this blog? Do I start tweeting Charlie Sheen and put that on my resume? I'm baffled.

And in my latest phone screen, I got the question I've been dreading as the time ticks on. "So what have you been doing since October?" I told the interviewer that I spent time with my family and am now looking to get back into the work world. Sort of a lie since I've been looking the whole time, but I guess I'm bordering on that dangerous gray zone where employers start to think there must be something wrong with you to be out of work so long. I'm guessing there's some leeway with the state of the job market, but still...I may have to start inventing something since most people don't seem impressed with perfecting your playdough skills and having some kick-ass playdates.

The other day I asked Little A if she wanted Mommy to go back to work and she could go to school. She gave me a resounding "no" and started crying. At least I know I've got one fan who wants me around.

It takes two

One is the loneliest number...

We spent July 4th weekend at my MIL's beachhouse and came back Tuesday morning after a Monday night fireworks display. Big A was invited to stay with her grandmother, aunt, uncle and cousins and was SO excited to do so. So for right now, its just me and Little A, hangin' out and having some quality time.

You know how before kids you think that life is pretty busy and stressful? And then you have a baby and wonder why you thought your life was hard before? And then you have another one and wonder why you thought one kid was so hard? I imagine this keeps happening until a certain point when the 7th or 8th kid actually gets easier as kids 1, 2 and 3 move into caretaker roles. But for most people, you simply adjust your life to each child and daydream about the way it used to be.

In some ways, it is easier just having one - particularly out in public, when there's only one child to wrangle and watch. But at home, I have to say that having one kid is actually harder for me. For starters, I can't say "Go play with your sister" right now. And mealtime conversation with a 1 year old is decidedly less entertaining than with a 4 year old to keep things entertaining. It only takes a little extra effort to give two kids a bath versus one, or cut up two grilled cheeses instead of one.

Of course there is one benefit I can't deny - naptime. Ah, naptime. Since Big A doesn't nap anymore, I don't get much of a break during the day. But with just Little A, I get 2 glorious hours of free time. Can't argue with that.

Little A is also in a really cute stage right now and its funny to watch her come up with new phrases. She is fond of telling me to "shoo shoo go away" but she doesn't really mean it. Having me all to herself seems to heighten her clinginess and she does not like me to move out of her line of vision. Think tantrums when I try to use the bathroom or get a drink in the next room. Better save that for naptime...

But despite it being harder or easier, the real truth is that I miss Big A. It doesn't feel right without her here and our rituals feel empty without her. Little A notices it too and has frequently been inquiring, "Where Abby?"

We are both looking forward to seeing her on Friday. Let's just hope Big A is as excited to see us and doesn't let this new found freedom go to her head.