The cost of an interview

When J and I moved back to our hometown from Washington, DC, one of the main reasons behind our move was our miserable commutes. We were seriously developing high blood pressure from the crazy traffic and time in the car we had to experience each day.

At my job that I was laid off from, I had a *4 minute* commute. It doesn't get much better than that. I could come home for lunch or to let a repairman in. I could fit in a doctor's appointment during the day and run errands and even come home to put the groceries in the fridge. Heck, I even left unnoticed to use the bathroom once (emergency!).

In my job applications, I've been focusing on my small city and purposely not looking in the bigger city nearby, even though there are probably more jobs available there. But when I got a call from a recruiter about a job in the bigger city, I cracked. It was part-time so I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad to commute a few times a week in exchange for a couple of days off.

So today was my interview. I arranged to have my dad babysit - which in this case was free. If I'd used a non-family babysitter, I imagine I would have paid about $40. I left with 2 hours to spare - double the estimated time to get there - and a book to read if I got there early - hah! I stopped for coffee since we'd been up since 5:30 a.m. leaving the beach ($2). As soon as I got onto the entrance to the highway, I came to a complete stop. I called home and found out there was a tractor trailer accident ahead of me. I inched forward for nearly an HOUR, feeling my blood pressure rise. I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it on time. Finally, I passed the accident (luckily, looked like no one was hurt) and started moving. I got off the exit in the heart of the city and quickly located the building...however, I did not so quickly locate a parking lot. I circled for about ten minutes, as the minutes ticked away. City drivers are no joke and I was seriously sweating when I finally spotted a hotel parking lot that was open to the public. I swung in, gathered my things and started to run.

I had about 10 minutes till my interview. It was over 90 degrees out and I was wearing a suit. And heels. And I was in a city that I do not know. I managed to find the building, but not without sweating through my suit ($20 for drycleaning). As I checked in, I saw that it was 3:27 - I had made it with three minutes to spare. Thanks to my coffee and the sun, I was dying to use the restroom and try to clean up, but it was not to be. They whisked me into the interview. It went okay, but I had pretty much already decided in my head that it wasn't going to happen. They couldn't tell me what the hours would be (and um...I kind of need consistent hours with childcare) and said they were still deciding whether to hire a contractor or use a PR firm. Hmmm. Not to mention that a contract job comes without benefits of any kind.

After the interview, I paid for my parking ($18) and set out for home. An hour and an exhausted stop for takeout later ($5), I was home. 3 hours of driving and a quarter tank of gas ($20) for a one hour interview.

Added up, my total expenses to go to this interview were $65 and that was with free babysitting. Ouch.

Suffice it to say I will not be looking for any more jobs in the big city. This small town girl is sticking close to home.

A day in the life

There was blood before 9 a.m. this morning.

Little A knocked over Big A's cup and Big A shoved her. In her defense, Big A didn't know Little A had a little plastic doll in her hand that managed to scratch her forehead and eye. Ouch. Crying ensued. We were in a rush already since Big A fought me about her clothes. As I pulled up her pants, she kept trying to pull them down. I finally asked her why she kept pulling her pants down. "Because mom, you make me look like an old man when you pull my pants up." Okay then. I promise you, she did NOT learn that from me!

After dropping Big A off at school (her last week!), Little A and I ran some errands. We had some extra time so we went to the mall. I was looking at some clothes and Little A was burning off some energy. By pretending to be a dog. This is her new game. She gets pretty into it. Like crawling on the floor with her tongue out making dog noises. So she's crawling around next to me "heheheh" when I guess the dog decided it was time to do her business. She looked up at me and said loudly "Choke a donkey mommy. WHEW. Poopy!" Mortified, I tried to shush her. Yeah, be careful what you say to kids. "Choke a donkey" is now her standard phrase when she needs a diaper change. At home, its funny. In public? Not so much. I quickly got in line to pay for a shirt. Little A was still crawling on the floor next to me. Bad smells were starting to waft from her vicinity. I tried to pretend she wasn't mine. She came (crawled) up to me. "POOPY!" she yelled. I smiled at the woman behind me, paid for my shirt and ran out of the store.

After we picked up Big A from school, we met my dad for lunch. He was amazed at how much food Little A could pack away. She had salad, macaroni and cheese and half his spaghetti. She was strategically placed next to my dad so I got to actually eat my meal in peace - score one for mom.

He came back to our house to play with the girls for a bit. Big A fell off her new bike. Then she made up a game that involved a doll bunk bed, books, a baton, a toy piano, a pillow and a blanket. You'd have to see it to understand.

After naps and quiet time, we went out for a walk in between rain storms. I'm proud to say I completed a .5k in just under 50 minutes. Yes, I DID mean to put a decimal in front of the 5. We walked around the block complete with dolls, doll strollers and the slowest dolly pusher in all the land. We got to meet the "trampoline family" at long last. I'm sure every neighborhood has one of these. The ones with the lots of kids and the noise and the trampoline in the backyard? The dad was very nice and introduced Big A to his 5 year old girl. As we walked away, she asked why we couldn't have a trampoline. I told her that maybe if she was friends with the little girl she could play on hers. She walked a few steps, then came back. "How do I get to be friends with her mom?"

It started pouring rain after our marathon walk, so I felt lucky. We had a "delicious" dinner of fish sticks, tater tots and green beans. We played one of Big A's new games she got for her birthday. J tried to cheat. Yes, he is THAT competitive that he actually tried to cheat against his 4 year old and 1 year old daughters. He still lost.

And then Dora and bedtime.

Not a bad day at all.

I scream, you scream

Today was Big A's birthday party celebration, and it turned out to be a great one. It was her first "friends" party so we decided it was a good idea to have it somewhere else. Call me crazy, but the idea of 16 4-year-olds at my house scared me...a lot.

We chose a sweet little local ice-cream shop. They made it so effortless for me. The kids ate pizza, played candy bingo, ate the ice-cream of their choice and then made candy necklaces. They even provided the goody bags. Done and done.

Big A was looking forward to her party all week and I think she had a great time. She wasn't too outgoing, but she also wasn't too shy, so I'll call it a success. She especially enjoyed making her candy necklace and sat for a very long time making it. In fact, she is currently sitting on her chair "sneaking" bites of candy. I'm giving her a pass today in honor of "birthday week."

Little A also had a good time. As usual, she spent most of the time eating...girl loves to eat. She impressed me with how much of a big girl she was, sitting right in the midst of all the 4-year-olds.

Another year come and gone. Now I'm gearing up for Little A's big 0-2 in just a few months. If only birthdays were this much fun forever.

And of course, a few pictures from the party...

Spring cleaning

It must be the season, but suddenly the walls seem to be closing in on me and I'm feeling an overwhelming need to PURGE. I want to fill up bags and bags and toss them all and I probably would if I didn't have a husband and two kids that would protest me getting rid of their stuff.

The problem with being home nearly every day is that things just don't stay clean and uncluttered, no matter how hard you try. I get overwhelmed by it all and just kind of give up. Why clean it up when its just going to get dirty again? And yet, there is something about a clean room that makes me feel calm and happy. So I'm resolving to make the effort to keep the clutter under control. If I see something that needs done and I have the minute or two to do it, I will. I'll take 10 minutes at the end of the day to put the room back together before I collapse on the sofa. I'll actually fold the laundry instead of dumping it on the bed and transferring it back and forth from the bed to the floor for days straight (please tell me I'm not alone in doing this?). Every day I'll try to do at least one thing I've been putting off.

When I was first laid off, I gave my two weeks notice at daycare and spent the time doing a bunch of the little projects that I had been thinking about for ages: cleaning out the garage, filing bills, organizing pots and pans. Now I realize it will probably be a long time before I have such an opportunity.

In any case, hopefully the girls won't mind if I spend a little more time in cleaning mode - something that may be a foreign sight to them. Maybe I will make it a regular summertime activity - somewhere between the plastic blow-up pool and our 10th walk around the block. Don't be too jealous.

Happy birthday baby!

Dear Big A,

Today you turned 4 years old. In some ways, I can't believe its been four years - or 1,460 days - that you've been on this earth. In other ways, it feels like you've always been a part of me.

You were loved and wanted even before you were born, and your big personality has only made that love stronger. I love watching you learn and grow. The things you can do constantly amaze me.

Today you told us that since you were four, you were no longer going to suck your thumb. And that's it - cold turkey - you stopped. As much as I'm proud of you, it also makes me a little sad. I've watched you sleep many a night with your teddy held to your cheek and your thumb stuck securely in your mouth. Its just another sign that you're growing up.

For your birthday, you got a big girl princess bike - something you've been talking about for months now. It made me so happy to see your daddy teaching you how to ride this afternoon. You were so sure of yourself and were able to ride by yourself right away. Even when you fell, you got right back up. You've come a long way, baby. I can't help but think back to my own childhood. I feel sure that I was not so confident. I'm glad that you are.

No matter how many times you frustrate me, I hope you always know how very much I love you. You will always be my first baby. I will always remember the feel of you sleeping on my chest as an infant, your little hand curled around my own. I remember your first joyful steps. I remember when I cried because you fell - your pain becoming my own. I remember the smears of cake on your face at your first birthday party. I remember your Halloween costumes - lamb, 50s girl, ladybug, cheerleader. I remember when you first learned to chew gum. I remember your first day of preschool. I'll remember you skipping out of school today with a cardboard birthday crown on, smiling wide.

Baby girl, you bring me happiness every day. As I always say to you, "I love you the best." And that doesn't mean I love you more than someone else, it just means that I love you in the best way I know how, the best way I can. Purely, deeply and always.

Hugs and kisses,

Momma

Still giving her momma that same look!

Peering over the fence...

I've been thinking a lot about going back to work lately. Probably because I was close with that other job and was starting to think about all of the logistical things I'd have to get done to go back. When that didn't happen, it was a little tough to turn my mindset back to SAHMing.

In two more weeks, preschool is over for the year and then its alllll me. No more routine or "break" on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. I have to admit, I'm a little scared. Of course, it will be nice out and we've been getting outside every day and will continue to do so. I've signed Big A up for a few "camps" that are a couple hours a day for a few weeks, so that will help. And I hope to spend more time working out, whether at the gym or outside walking. Somehow, these "mom pounds" really need to come off.

We will also spend time at my mother in law's beach house, which is a nice bonus.

But I'm not going to lie. The days can be looong when you're filling time with two toddlers. There are only so many times you can go to the library, go to the park and walk around the block.

Let's also put forward that my unemployment insurance runs out at the end of the month and I cannot get an answer on whether I will get an extension. I am assuming I will since that is the word on the street, but not getting a straight answer makes me a little nervous.

Basically all this to say that I'm in the middle of a minor freak-out so don't mind me.

In other news, Big A turns FOUR on Monday. I can't believe it, she really is getting so big and mature and OLD. She is equal parts charming and maddening which makes for an interesting mix. Yesterday when I wouldn't give her a piece of gum when she asked, she told me she didn't love me anymore and wasn't going to snuggle me ever again. Then last night, my eyes were watering from allergies, and she asked me what was wrong and I told her it was just allergies. She looked at me closely and said gently "are you okay?" Aww, when did my little girl get empathy?

Also stay tuned for a post about our adventure in girliness tomorrow - with the help of a Groupon, both girls are getting haircuts - Little A's first! - and "mini manis" at a little girl spa. Can't wait to see this!

Better late than never...

Considering this is a "mommy blog," I probably should have written a post for Mother's Day, huh? Well, better late than never.

I had a great weekend at my mother in law's beach house with my mom, my sister and her two youngest kids, and Big A and Little A. It was nice to get to spend time with my own kids and my mom at the same time. I feel lucky to be a mother, and to have such a great one myself. I see so much of her in my own parenting - from the good to the bad. The other day, I found myself telling Big A, "I'll give you something to cry about." I can't even tell you how many times I heard that as a kid, since I was a quite a crybaby myself. Some things just come full circle.

We had a great time at the beach. The weather was wonderful and we got to let the kids play on the beach. The kids were very well-behaved and it was restful and relaxing, especially after last week's stress. When we got home, J got us takeout barbeque for dinner and had bought me a banana cream pie - my favorite.

Here are some pictures from our beach weekend:

Happy momma's day to all the mommies out there. Wishing you sunny days, sandy baby feet, belly laughs, the calm of the ocean, lots of springtime breezes and a great family to share it with.

No good, very bad day

Today sucked.

To set the stage, it was raining and pouring this morning.

I've been anxious all week waiting to hear about a job I interviewed for last week. I thought I rocked the interview. I practically high-fived the potential boss on the way out. I was pretty dang confident that the job was mine. Until I got the email from the headhunter (it was just a contract position). "You weren't selected for the job. They didn't say why. They chose someone they liked a little better."

Ouch. That stings. Why is there always such a mystery about getting turned down? You're rejecting me anyway, could you at least throw me a bone and tell me what I could do differently next time? Sigh.

The thing about kids is that they're relentless. They don't really care if you just got a poorly worded rejection email. They think that's a fine time to tell you that "your hair doesn't look pretty." It's raining okay. On the other hand, at least kids are honest.

Feeling down, I took the girls to Big A's dance class. We got home and I heard the sound of water running. This can't be good. Our bathroom sink is broken. J tried to be a plumber, but um...he's not. We actually HAVE a plumber scheduled to come Friday. Ha. So the water turns on when you turn the faucet on...and when you turn the faucet off. It only stops pouring out when you put it in the middle of off and on. Which I guess I didn't do before we left. Oh yeah, and the sink doesn't drain. So the sink filled and spilled over onto the floor. Lovely. I guess at least I wasn't gone long enough for our house to flood?

I cleaned that up and the kids were whiny so I decided to serve dinner early. I made a complete dinner but both girls just ate corn. Fine. I had a phone interview for a job I don't want scheduled at 5:30. The plan was for J to come home and watch the girls while I did this interview, then I had a dentist appointment at 6. So...um, you can see where this is going, right?

J was in the field with his boss today and he wasn't home yet at 5:20. I quickly cleaned up dinner and set the girls up in front of Dora. Then I called for the phone interview I didn't want. It pays less than I made in my first job. And I'm over qualified by three times the amount of years required. I'm not sure why I even accepted the phone interview except for the small chance that they fell in love with me and decided to double the salary. So anyway, I call...and no one answers. Okay really? Was the universe paying a joke on me? Like ha, you think you're too good for this job, well we don't want you anyway!

I called the recruiter who set up the interview and she told me she'd figure it out. Panicking now, I ran upstairs to brush my teeth and call J to see where he was. It was now 5:40 and I needed to leave in 10 minutes to make my appointment. J answered and said he had just arrived back at work...20 minutes away. Great. He told me to take the girls to the dentist and he would drive there and pick them up. Double great. The only thing worse than going to the dentist right now was to go to the dentist with 2 kids in tow.

I pretty much forgot about the phone interview as I scrambled to get the girls ready. I don't know about your kids, but mine tend to resemble orphans by the end of a long day - especially after dinner. I put jeans and a t-shirt over Big A's dance costume and gathered our things. The phone rang. It was the recruiter. "Okay," she said in a cheery voice. "Everything's all fixed, you can call for your interview now." I laughed. "Um...I'm actually running out the door for an appointment, so I'll have to reschedule." Let's just say she was not happy...and even if I wanted the job, it wouldn't be happening.

With no time to spare, we rushed out the door and drove to the dentist. I realized I'd forgotten to change Little A's diaper and the eternal question ran through my head...leave it or change it? Since her pants were practically sagging to her knees, I knew I had no choice. So in the front seat of my car in the parking lot of the dentist's office, I changed her diaper and we ran in. I'm sure you can imagine the thrill the hygienist had when she met me and two toddlers in the lobby. I told her my husband would be there shortly and we headed in. She set the kids up on two little chairs and I laid down in the big one. As I closed my eyes and the plaque scraper started in, I felt like I was in some sort of surreal alternate reality. I felt my teeth being scraped, heard my kids saying "mommy, mommy" and then felt them grabbing at my hand. Then my cell phone rang and I became *that* patient who is trying to text while getting her teeth cleaned...with her kids clamoring on the side.

Luckily, J showed up a few minutes later and took the kids. I had bribed them with the promise of ice-cream so he took them to the ice-cream shop, while I finished up my appointment. They even brought me back a scoop of my favorite flavor. But I'm afraid to say that after the day I had, even ice-cream isn't doing the trick.

I just called to say...

"I love you."

Little A said this to me spontaneously for the first time today and my heart melted.

For several months now, she's responded "La la" when we say "I love you" to her. She says it in the same inflection as I love you, so it got the point across just fine. But tonight as I was getting her changed for bedtime, she looked up at me and said clear as day (well, as clear as a 1 year old can): "I love you." I made her repeat it until she wouldn't anymore.

I still remember when Big A said I love you for the first time too. It was Mother's Day when she was nearly 2. Not that I compare my two girls or anything... ;-) Well, if I did, Little A's got a few months on Big A, but that's pretty much par for the course.

In Big A news, today we had a great playdate at the playground with my cousin and her kids. Big A has always been very shy and standoffish and takes a while to warm up...usually till the end of a playdate. Today, it was a new Big A. She came in with a smile and played like crazy. When we got in the car, she told me that she wasn't going to be shy anymore and she had lots of fun. And also that my cousin's daughter was her best friend. It was precious and I was happy for her. I love to see her having fun and shedding her shyness. Hopefully it sticks.

And on that note, my heart is just about full of "la la" tonight!